You Know What’s Wrong with Women? MEN!!!

I’m tired of seeing essays by men about women. Men, in 2021, still don’t get it! If you’re not a woman, how can you tell us how to be and live? We have our own minds! We can think for ourselves! The utter nerve of it all!

Men are so assinine. They don’t want to be perceieved as weak, so no emotions. They don’t want to wear color, so drab grays and browns. And the all-black look only works on certain men. Many men don’t even have a backside to admire. Saggy rear ends are sooo 80's!

Men think they know it all. That’s why Congress debates about abortions and contraceptives. I’m so tired of old White men (and some women) policing our bodies! Let me repeat — OUR BODIES! If Congress were debating men’s genitals, they’d be an uproar! Perish the thought!

Men, you smell. And I’m not just talking about your breath. You sweaty armpts. Your man parts. Your feet. They all smell. Your hair looks dirty. You don’t brush or comb it and probably don’t wash it on a regular basis. You need a shave. A beard is one thing, but some of you walk around with peach fuzz that is beyond fuzzy. While you’re at it, take care of those eyebrows. Looking like the wanna-be-villain on a Phineas and Ferb episode.

Women have style. We have flair. We can wear what we want and kill it. We’re fierce! We can have a baby one day and be at the gym the next day (well, not me, I was laid up for weeks). We create. We design. We direct. We give speeches and win awards. Women are wonders!

Men just sit around all day in front of their screens thinking of ways to aggravate women. You fat shame us. You criitize us when we speak. You police our hair (particularlyy women of color). You create ads that give us insecurities about our bodies which lead to eating disorders. You misdiagnose our pain (again, particularly women of color). You abuse us and get applauded for it ( I talking to you, Trump!). You wreck havoc on our daily lives and get mad when we complain about your actions.

Men need to get over themselves. Women are tired of your bullshit. Past tired. We’re also tired of women who co-sign your bullshit. I mean really, some of your Karens out there are so blind! Some of these men are straight up turds! . They’re neanderthals and you shout their accomplishments to the heavens. Sorry, but you’re only going to get the hand from God.

Women are making moves in the boardroom. We’re making moves on Social Media. Women are leading nations. We have a woman of color for Vice President! Kamala Harris is the second most powerful elected official in the country! Women know they can achieve so much in this country. We just have to work together (I’ll talk about that in another piece) and not let men get in our way.

So guys, listen up, you need to either follow us or get out of our way. Women are doing what they need to do to thrive in America. This country needs women! You men have messed things up long enough. Let us show you how it’s done. You mess up everything that you touch with your heavy-handed ways. This country needs to get back on track and women are operating the train.