Stop Bashing Single Mothers

Especially Black Single Moms

I was on TikTok and viewed a video where a married Black woman stated that single mothers are “a problem.” The women went on to say that women need to make sure the men they become involved with are “good men” before having children with them. This woman made it seem as if all the ills of the world are due to single mothers. Single mothers have done more to hold up this world than they’re given credit for. Single mothers are heroes.

TikTok provides a platform for anyone who wants to showcase their ideas, businesses, or opinions. I follow many Black intellectuals who provide knowledge about Critical Race Theory, Fashion, Entertainment, Politics, and Education. These creators know their stuff and I enjoy their content. When they highlight someone being ignorant, I love reading the comments. People rip racists and elitists to shreds.

The woman insulting single mothers received plenty of strong words from followers. She has already lost over 1,000 followers since posting the video. I’m sure there’ll be more to leave this creator. She should have realized that maybe some of your followers are single mothers or were raised by single mothers. That’s why it’s important to think before you post. What you post can have lasting consequences.

Black women are dumped on enough by Society. As single mothers, it’s even worse. Black single mothers are seen as promiscuous and lazy, taking government handouts to avoid working. While this might be true of all single mothers, Society blames this stereotype squarely on the shoulders of Black single mothers. I can tell you that it’s not true. Many Black single mothers work two or more jobs just to make ends meet. My mother was one of these single mothers.

My father was an abusive bully who terrorized us. Any time he came to our home, he would yell, strike my mother, and leave my brother and me cowering in our rooms. I hated my father. I wanted my parents to get a divorce. My father never showed us love or kindness. We were a burden to him.

When my parent finally separated, I was relieved. My father would disappear for months at a time. When he came by, he would throw a few dollars at my mother and act like it was a big deal. If he bought anything for my brother and me, we’d have to handle it with care or we’d incur our father’s wrath. However, our father wasn’t a giving man as he missed many birthdays and holidays when we were children.

There are many single mothers going through the same thing right now. There are even mothers who are in relationships but still carry much of the load. Being married doesn’t guarantee happiness. Relationships change. What started like a fairy tale can easily transform into a nightmare. People grow apart for many reasons. Sometimes, it’s just better to be single.

Single mothers deserve praise. They deserve respect. Single mothers make sacrifices every day for their children. Men need to help the mothers of their children. You don’t have to love each other, just be civil around the kids. Be good parents. Love your children. Teach them that all relationships are worthy.