My Childhood Prepared Me for Adulthood

I grew up long before I was officially an adult

I pride myself on being able to adult long before it was necessary. This was because my childhood was one of struggle. We were a poor family. Although my mother worked, her paycheck barely covered the essentials. We had Section 8 to help with the rent. We had food stamps for groceries. And we had government cheese to tied us over when the food stamps ran out. The food stamps would always run out.

When my mother had extra money, she would use it to buy my brother and me extras — books for me and toys for my brother. When we received treats, it was like an early Christmas present. We learned early on to be grateful for whatever gift we received. I would huddle in my room, reading while my brother ran about his room with a race car or fire truck. It was also during these times that I learned how to make a dollar out of fifteen cents.

When my mother took us grocery shopping, she taught me how to spend food stamps. Before EBT cards, food stamps came in different colored booklets. Each color represented the specific amount for each food stamp. The booklets came in one’s, five’s, ten’s, and twenties. The amount my mother received changed from month to month and year to year, so she tried to make them last as long as possible.

Unfortunately, with two growing children, the months would be divided in half — the first two weeks were the feast and the last two weeks were the famine. If my mother didn’t supplement our pantry with breakfast and lunch leftovers from her job as a school cafeteria worker, we would only have the hard, government cheese to feed on.

I learned to save money from a young age. Every time I found a penny or a nickel, I’d place it in my piggy bank. My mother would give us an allowance whenever possible. I would spend half of it and saved the other half. Any money I found on the street, I’d quickly pick it up to add it to my piggy bank. Eventually, my mother helped me get my first bank account.

To help my mother, I learned how to cook and clean. I would wash my underwear and hang them on a line in our backyard. When the clothing piled up, we would go to the laundromat and wash our things. My mother taught me how to measure the amount of detergent and that dryer sheets were reusable. My brother and I would load the clothing into the dryers and then fold the clothes. We would lug all the freshly cleaned laundry back home.

As I got older, I would go grocery shopping and do laundry runs. I was a smart girl and found ways to take advantage of deals and savings. My mother would give me a list and the money. Eventually, I was given authority over the food stamps. I could buy myself a treat as long as I brought home the groceries and had a treat for my brother.

As a high school student, my mother taught me about paying bills. I had an after-school job and used some of my money to help my mother. I was responsible for the phone bill. I bought my own groceries and school clothes. I enjoyed taking some of the burdens from my mother.

Everything I learned as a child helped me as an adult. That’s why I’m confused by the way some twenty-somethings struggle with what they call “adulting.” Paying bills. Opening a checking account. Filling up the tank. Doing laundry. These are skills that should have been learned when they were children. Of course, it’s a struggle now!

I was an adult while still a child. I had to learn about documents for rent, getting a state id then a driver’s license, completing a job application, and filling out financial aid forms for college. Some of these tasks my mother was unfamiliar with so I often had to figure stuff out on my own. It was a learning curve that I don’t want my children to go through. But it was something that prepared me for adulthood.