May Reflection — April Aftermath

April was a rollercoaster of a month

There were three things that were good about April 2023:

1. It was National Poetry Month
2. It was my mother’s birthday
3. It was my son’s birthday

There were three things that were not good about April 2023:

1. I received a lot of poetry rejections during the month
2. My mother has been deceased for almost six years
3. My son turned 20 and an I feel a mid-life crisis coming on

To add to my crisis, I received a horrible evaluation from my evaluator. This evaluation spells the end of my teaching career. I’ve witnessed so many colleagues, particularly colleagues of color and specifically, Black women, evaluated out of the district. They’re discharged in disgrace. All their years of service were discarded as if it never occurred. Now, that fate faces me.

I don’t want my career to end in such a manner. I’ve given so much to the district and it has taken so much from me — my youth, my health, and my confidence. I know I’m a good educator. I work hard every day. There are so many challenges and I was alone in trying to meet them. Every time I thought I was improving, I was told it wasn’t enough.

Now, my future is uncertain. It’ll be a matter of time before I hear from Human Resources, probably to outline my dismissal. It makes me sick to my stomach. I don’t know what to do but keep going forward. I’m angry and hurt, but I plan to prove the district wrong. Karma is coming!