Classroom Chronicles

Ageism in the Classroom

Part 2

I’m sick of students making comments about my age. Yes. I’m an adult. Yes. I’m obviously older than you. No. I won't tell you my age! It’s rude for anyone to ask a person their age — especially a woman. Since our bodies are policed from birth to death, our age also comes up as well. It’s no big deal when you’re young (under 40, or is it 35?). But when you reach a “certain age,” a phrase I hate, you don’t want anyone to know how old you are.

It's not due to embarrassment. It’s due to stigmas associated with age. If I’m 18 and wanted to start a business, people would say I’m too young. I need to gain some experience, go to school, build up my skills. If I’m 45 and want to start a business, the doubters will be looking at me about time, expense, and hassle. If I’m over 50, forget about it, they’ll look at me as if early senility has set in.

It’s insulting! Women have done great things in their 30s, 40, 50s, and beyond. They’re getting degrees, buying homes, and starting businesses. Women are having their first child in their 50s (I see you, Janet Jackson!). I recently watched a news story about a 70ish-year-old woman working on her Master’s degree. She was an African American woman. And she looked great for her age. If you don’t know, Black don’t crack.

“Are you going to retire in 10 years, Ms. Luke?” a male student asked me. We were in the midst of a discussion when he blurted out the question. I was immediately offended by it. I am nowhere near retirement age and won’t be eligible (or financially ready) to retire in a decade. But the fact that the student asked such a question was really his way of saying that I’m old. Another student added insult to injury by asking if I were too old to retire. I just shook my head in exasperation. Kids can be cruel.

When I got home, I went to freshen up in the bathroom. I stared at myself in the mirror. My brown skin shone under the bathroom lights. My face is smooth with very few wrinkles. The only thing that ages me is two deep-set lines on either side of my nose. They’re on my cheeks and became more noticeable over the past five years.

I believe the lines came about due to everything I've been through with cancer and losing my mother. Medical Trauma and grief can age a person. When I look in the mirror, I’m grateful that I don’t have a head full of gray, a turkey neck, and a face full of wrinkles. But I do dislike the lines on my cheeks. If the lines weren’t looking like facial scars, I’d probably look much younger.

For years, I have used tons of skincare products to maintain a youthful appearance. Genetics helped as well. My mother, before she was stricken with ovarian cancer, didn’t have a lot of gray hair or wrinkles on her face. Before she passed, my mother looked like she was in her 90s instead of her 70s. Cancer had aged her severely, turning her into a shell of a woman. Another reason why I hate cancer.

The students soon turned their conversation about age on themselves, sharing the ages of their grandmothers and mothers. One grandmother is forty. Another grandmother is in her sixties. One student said his mother just turned 29. He’s the oldest of her three children and was born when his mother was in her teens.

I was glad that the focus had shifted away from me. While I like teaching high school students, I often have to deal with questions about my age and qualifications. It’s annoying that I have to prove my capabilities to students and colleagues. I began my teaching career over fifteen years ago, teaching 9th grade English. During that time, I’ve obtained three degrees and have been published in numerous magazines and journals. Now with a new school year underway, I’ve come full circle. I once again teach 9th grade English at my current school.

I’ll continue to drink water, massage my face, and use skin-forming products. I wear makeup to lessen the lines on my face. My style is always on trend with my own twist. I try to maintain high energy when I teach. I don’t like aging, but I’m not going to let my age stop me from pursuing my goals.

Ageism is another epidemic in this country that needs to be addressed. It’s an epidemic that hits women the hardest. The beauty industry makes billions in America by selling skincare and makeup to brighten, lighten, and heighten a woman’s appearance. Hair products are also a huge industry with a variety of products to hide grays, style hair, and add volume. In addition, hair extensions and wigs are big business as well.

If you’re a teacher you know students like to say things to push our buttons or get under our skin. Some students enjoy annoying their teachers. It’s like a sport to them. We know as teachers that kids will come out of their mouths about our appearance, our weight, and our age. But age does bring wisdom. Students forget that they need us to teach them and prepare them for the next grade level. We’re also preparing them for adulthood.

The world will expect students to be ready for college or a career after high school. Students will need to prove themselves. What will they bring to the table? Additionally, they’ll experience ageism. People will look at them as kids, not ready for the world. They’ll grow older and have teens asking them about their age, calling them old, and poking fun at their style. It’s the circle of life. Get ready, kids!