Bishop T.D. Jakes isn’t helping Black Women

There are two sides to every story.

I recently watched a video of Bishop T.D. Jakes discussing Black relationships. Specifically, he was talking about Black women who state they “don’t need” a man. Jakes stated that those women who can “get their own car, house, etc aren’t making a place for a man.” Again, we have another prominent Black man bashing Black women.

What Jakes and many other Black men don't understand is that Black women want a Black man in their lives, but not if that Black man is going to make their lives miserable. This means that the “need” for a Black man diminishes if the said man doesn’t respect the Black woman. Black women are tired of the drama and would rather be alone than deal with physical and verbal abuse.

Black women have been through so much in this country. From enslavement to Jim Crow to the drug crisis of the 80s, the gang crisis of the 90s, & the current social media bashing of the 2000s. Black women can’t have an opinion without thousands of faceless trolls dumping on them. Despite the messiness of the internet, Black women continue to survive and thrive in a country that wants them silent and unseen.

Black women will not be silenced and they will be seen. Look at all the accomplishments Black women have done since the 2000s — winning Emmys and Oscars in film and television, developing the COVID vaccine, leading corporations, winning Olympic medals, and becoming the first female vice president of the United States. We Black women have got it going on!

Black women want Black men to be equal and supportive partners in their lives. They want to build and grow together. We need to be on the same team. This country is going backward in the areas of equity, diversity, and inclusion. With Roe v. Wade’s reversal, the Supreme Court has made it clear that other protections will be next. The rights of Black, Brown, and Indigenous people are in jeopardy.

Black women and men need to engage in open and honest communication. When a Black woman states that she doesn’t “need a man” what she really means is that she doesn’t want to be hurt again. That’s what Black men need to recognize. Some Black men have done serious damage to the emotional psyches of Black women. Black women are angry and fed up with the mistreatment.

Black women are independent and there’s nothing wrong with being so. Black men are independent and no one complains about that. Do they? No, they don’t. An independent woman is a woman who doesn’t depend on anyone and doesn’t want to owe anything to anyone. But we all need someone to love and support each other. Black women and men need to stop the decisiveness and work together.

The future of our people in this country depends on us being a united front.